DUMB BUM TITLES
CRAP WE POOPED WITH JOY
In no
special order other than alphabetical, (WARNING to all: I'm dyslexic) here's the list of gems carried by our
moronic company. Surprisingly, for a company of our selling calibre, we're quite productive!
Can somebody congratulate me with a tap on the shoulder? Or will I have to get
the toilet brush again?
THE NEVERENDING ROOSTER:
Adventure always runs wild on the
Sunshine Farm. Jump in the slop with Wise Pinky the Pig or cruise around with
the regular chickens, hens, and small ducks as they try to avoid decapitation
for another day. When things get nasty the Neverending Rooster is always there
to help.
FLYING SPITTING MONKEYS IN MALAYSIA:
After the main nuclear reactor of
Planet Earth burst into flames, following a dumb malfunctioning, all the known
world has been mutated into evil robot machines. Only the little island of Malaysia has been saved from the radiation, or has it??? Because the monkeys can now flyand spit acid, and they are back to claim what was theirs: The Evolution!
THE TUNAFISH MAN:
The world
has known many superheroes before, but could any of them swim? And I don’t mean
Pool Swimming! This massive egocentric hero with a spike, swims his enemy
upriver, salted water, and ocean free. It has never felt better to have gills.
GOLDEN MUSCLES:
Under the Californian sun where
everybody wishes to shine, how could one outshine all others? If coated with
gold it’s quite easy. So take your coconut beverage, put on your swimsuit and
witness the various detours of his adventures, as he is tracked down for his
skin…and more!
ROBO GAY:
Major girlish attitude, unmasculine
poses, rusty and un-oiled mechanism, but ALL STEEL, Robo Gay is Open for
business! Explore the underground of Los Peruviôs, and see how much curve the
adventure can take. A classic spin-off of Robo Straight, his long-lost cousin,
both these IBM-compatibles try to return peace in the city. But by opposite
means. And yes, for those of you still wondering, he DOES have buns of steel!
THE NUDE PATROL:
What to say more than TONES of fun!
It’s like being stuck on a nude beach, between two fat old woman, and a blind
albino German, blocking the only way out… But scare not, and don’t cast away
the brochure too quickly, for the NUDE PATROL is here! They’ll help you out of
possibly embarrassing situations, and claim they won’t tell your parents! But
where is their uniform?
DISCO JUL:
In a world where polyester is always
in fashion, this hero of questionable caliber, tries to fight for peace, or
whatever seems fun at the time. Opposed by grand villains, such as Carpet-Man,
a variety of evil doctors, wild pedestrians, un-tamed animals, feminists,
Peruvians, cultural folk, God and sometimes Satan himself, this hero has his
hands full. How can he survive such malice? By being well equipped, with
spells, unquestionable gravity laws, high heel formulas, cheating techniques,
and a sidekick to blame! Is it just me, or this comic is worth buying?
DISCO JUL: THE THERAPY ADVENTURES :
After dealing with so many life
crisis, world endings, injuries that made him temporarily impotent more than
once, Disco Jul heads to Bolivia,
where a good meal and psychotherapy is cheap: if one understands the language…
SCOOPY THE ICE CREAM MAN:
This seasonal super-hero, accused
occasionally of pedophilia, sales ice-cream for a living! Armed with his
plastic spatula, he competes with lemonade-stand representatives to keep his
ground. With enough earnings he will add chocolate to his inventory. Can
vanilla suffice to fight crime?
ROBO STRAIGHT:
Practitioner robot, built as a
prototype in the ancient soviet labs, he escaped and came to Americato live his dream of owning
a flower shop. But his Rusty clumsy hands, are better suited to fight crime in
the Bronx. After he was fired from the
flower-shop, the street mobs cried. So did Robo Straight, for he was now far
away from old miss Susan, his landlord and soul mate; so he believed. Will he
find a way to combine Passion and Work?
THE WONDERING YEARS:
Do you remember the time that Fred
lived next to you and he had tones of questions? We are bringing you back to
those days, when life was simple, and people had loaded guns. How long will
Fred survive with his whinny attitude?
X-MORONS:
The New Mutant Generation, created
by Disco Jul has frictions. And new outfits every issue!! The 2 co-leaders
Cyclopedia and Molverine split the previously united X-Morons into 2 groups,
greedy for bubble space. With tight spandex that could rip at any moment,
nobody bends…to accommodate anyone’s demands! Is Mankind safe with such lousy
morons cautiously walking around???
EVIL VELVITTA NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC ADVENTURES:
This cross-dressed Peruvian
dictator, was dethroned by Disco Jul, and searched for a new career in despair.
When saving penguins becomes an obsession, National Geographic is the door to
knock. She travels the globe to find traces of extinguished species, to cry
over it. That is all I understood from it…
FLASHBACK WESTERN:
After you watched and read all the
cowboy material out there, you are bound to fall on Flashback Western. The
Dorksome Ranger tries to clean up the West, after all the other heroes have
done the core of the job. What will he target next? We are banking on the
nostalgics
THE PIG THAT NEVER OINKS:
Traumatised at birth this pig never
oinked or squealed, to the dramatic concern of the Farmer Bob. The local wolf
takes pity in piggy’s condition and goes to great lengths to help, and to
incorporate himself in the plot!! An adventure where Man and Beast interchange
roles of hero and villain. Who will be eaten in the end? Who makes the tastiest
stew? Will we come to a conclusive OINK?
THE ADVENTURES OF BILLY FANG:
How did this crap end up in our
title list? A shameful editorial error that still causes us turmoil. After the
court sanctioned us to find and castrate the one responsible for this title, the
finger pointing has not yet stopped among our staff members… and I bought a new
hammer for the occasion…
BRIAN G. COP NUMBER 1023:
Some cop. Some town. Some case.
Suspenders. Soaked raincoat. Endless cigar. Bad breath, a pen that is always
dry and a rare skin disease. You know we are talking about Brian G. Cop 1023.
A 1001 DALMATIANS: A TRUE STORY:
We go in depth in the lives of stray
dogs that run un-neutered. This is no Disney version. Straight-to-the point.
Gory and graphic. In a cruel environment where EVERYONE wants their skin. Last
time I checked 403 were born. Movie rights ARE for sale. Bid big HERE.
THE MIGHTY BORE:
Join this
Scandinavian Blunder God as he fights evil along with his melancholic mace
Mjorninoluindeke, and his dog Asgardonkedolunkithorenefulyrudondunk, nicknamed
Widow-Tail. He can baby-sit your kids, make supper and program your VCR… All
before 10 pm! He's boring but reliable, unlike that Pine-Sol addict Ploki, his
half brother half mother sibling.
THE LUNATIC MOHEL:
After his license got revoked for accidentally
moheling Princess Hannah, no synagogue has given him a second chance. Armed
with vengeance, an expired license, severe lunacy and shaky nerves, does he need a
scalpel? He walks the streets looking to expand Judaism. The sales of
Jock-straps in his neighborhood have sky rocked! Watch-out, he's genderly
confused… and confusing!
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