 DISCO SCOOPS
Where YOUR opinion can be heard... But ISN'T.
EDITOR SAYS: Welcome to the letter column. This is what I do to avoid the orphans who ask me for money. It helps me act busy in various situations, so keep them coming! I don't particularly read ANY title, so I'll try my best to answer your moronic demands.
Dear Dumb Bum
Your comic sucks. Last
time I read it publicly, my sad life tumbled lower… I lost all my friends, and
they ran away with my underwear. They showed them to the world, a proof they
said, to expose how much of my dignity I have lost. I told them that it was
only bladder juice... Will they believe me??? Not so far… Also, why is Disco
Jul stuck in another dimension?
Pablo Pablopoulos 'Louis'
Hotful Town
 THANKS with CAPS 'Louis'! We live for letter
like these! After a hard day in court, pretending to be hard of hearing to slow
the legal process down, it's letters like yours that keep us motivated to
continue! It greatly satisfies us to know that others have it much worst then
us! And WE contributed in making ourselves happy! It's a blessing to see that Disco Jul is so
well esteemed by the fans. When we started, NEVER we would’ve imagined such a
high standing in the industry. You ROCK Louis!
Dear Scoops
It greatly deceives me to see you have yet another NEW
website! What's with the colors? The images? The content? Responses to mail?
Who do you think you are? This version does not go well with what you product
stands for. It's by far the most nauseating site you had! Bring back the one
with the FRAMES! I want the black one, with the hard to read fonts! It was so
unclear and full of typos, that it took me at least 45 minutes of browsing time
to get through it, and have a semi-clear idea of what it was about! It made
your 3 only available pages seem like 7… More then expected by you guys… Now I
barely feel ripped off! How DumbBum are you really?
I want frames! I want less of everything else. MORE FRAMES!!!!
Joezi Tuong
Camberge University (janitor)
An intellectual! How can we compete with such
knowledge? The site was not our property Joezi. It barely had anything in it,
so when in decided to leave us, we just simply looked the other way, where the
albino chimp was performing a memorable, yet tragic pole dance, that resulted
in his death. The last Gay Albino Chimpanzee died that day… I still remember the
highlights of his show…
How DumbBum are we? We would DIE for Dumbbum,
and that's not only under court sentencing! We are officially dead in 5
countries (including Fiji Islands) where due to
local law, our death would exonerate us from much doodoo. If bankruptcy is a
form of death; who can manage our death count? Statistic companies? I think not!
Dear Best Comic in the World!
I'm getting anxious, but someone needs to
address this matter. You've left me sitting in boiling water for way too long,
I'm now a hard egg. You promised us that before the end of 2007, the Blowdering Fish Arch would get
resolved. I hate to be a party pooper (I have two kids, and know how annoying
it is) but the clock is ticking on you guys, and you're making no effort to loop
back in the plot. Don't disappoint me like other comic companies do, and wrap
it up in two pages by mentioning that 7 characters are now deceased, or that
the problem took care of itself.
I clearly remember that we left Disco Jul facing
nature as Global warming was bringing Apocalyptic effects on his afro, and way
too far from the AC button. He was screaming for help, but Falling Out Boy was
not in site, held hostage by the Migrating Pigeon Gang, and forced to join
their coalition by pooping on pedestrians from the Balcony. Falling out Boy was
standing with his pants lowered, and Disco Jul could not interfere due to the
oath he took to get assistance from Master Troglodyte (aka SugarMan). So who
would help Falling out Boy? If he didn't poop, they would remove his mask? Who
would help the sidekick? Who would help Disco? It seems to me like an
impossible situation!
You chose not to tell us by giving us adventures
that took place BEFORE those events. But when will we go back to the PRESENT?
It's been 6 years now! Don't let me hanging too...
Worried Walt
Currently on vacation in Disneyland
(little can the mouse do to calm the stress you
folks created)
End of 2007? Sorry Walt, but we received your
mail too late to stick to our promise. If only we read it before the deadline
we would’ve done something! This is beyond our control. Time slips by when
you’re having fun, or running to avoid creditors. On the bright side, we didn't
conclude the plot with those hateful techniques. Keep reading, maybe a time
machine will fix the problem. Trust DumbBum… Trust is key to everything.
EDITOR SAYS: I lost my underwear in my office yesterday, Did anyone see them? Johnny, Call the cops! My lucky undies have been stolen! Yeah it's the ones I crapped in last week... (DECEMBER 2006)
Want to send us Questions or Comments? Invoices? Harrasement Letters? You're from the governement? Looking to adopt a chinesse shoelace? You're from Marvel? (If it's you Stan Lee, stop writing to me! I have NO intention of returning your sunglasses...) E-MAIL us at this usualy empty inbox:
dumbbum@mail.com
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