Your favourite local shop carries CRAP, compare to OURS! Find things here you won't find anywhere else on the planet. Impossible to compare prices. Items are Hand-Picked by Disco, and Hand-Made obviously from someone, somewhere. Who cares, BUY!
Never quite sure how to escape from a bad dating situation? Dumb Bum has thought about the likes of you and has come up with this special and unique product!
ITEMS ON SALE
I THINK THE CLOSET IS TOO SMALL FOR ME, DEAR
This beginner's pack comes equipped with a wallet picture of Nsync (if you're male) and Ellen (if you're female) along with a Barbara Streisand CD, and a 100% Queer Pride t-shirt. Social skills and acting talents may result in failure of this product.
It should be able to get you easily out of first dates and casual friendships.
YOURS FOR ONLY : 69.89 $
I'M GAY WITH A TWIST
No acting necessary here. The kit will curve you up with no surprises. Equipped with a 5-second full make up applier (some crayola on a saran wrap), full gay outfit assembled by professionals, and a haircut to kill. If you're not gay after this, join the army!
Warning: Dumb Bum is not to be held responsible for permanent skin damage due to make-up.
Works fantastic for the date who keeps calling back, or for your annoying ex who wants to get back together. Approved for up to 1 year relationships.
IT'S NOT FREE, BUT WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? : 119.99 $
GAYER THAN RICHARD SIMMONS (YES, IT'S POSSIBLE!)
Guaranteed to get you out of most relationships and awkward, annoying situations, this kit comes with a Gay manual encyclopaedia that will teach you how to talk, walk, chew, breathe, all over again! After this kit is done with you, you could work in the fashion industry, and be greatly accepted. Comes with a diet tape, and an exercise program also (because who would believed that a slob like you is gay?)
Warning: May cause permanent gay personality disorders!
AND IT'S YOURS FOR : 215.49 $
THE SUPER DELUXE GAY
Or as we call it: The Marriage Breaker.
No product on the market can out-gay this one! It will bring your gay blue print further ashore. Equipped with leather beret, flashy neon boas, the high selling musical compilation: The Road is Curving in Spring (with lots of Elton John, Ricky Martin, and Tina Turner), lifetime membership to Gay Times, and 24 hour access to our gay hotline, to give you fresh tips and conversation subjects. It also comes with a realistic inflatable date, that will approve your every point.
Warning: This item may cause irreversible damage to your reputation.
PRICE : 439.00 $ and going up due to demands
Dumb Bum is also working on the STRAIGHT-O-DATER, that will help our queer clients like Doyle, Nikki and Paco, get out of their annoying gay dates. Dumb Bum Cares!!!
I guess you are one of THOSE people who wants VINTAGE! CLICK this LINK for something even OLDER...